"I'm a Christian" Catch: Fan or Follower?

It's so easy to call yourself a Christian. So easy in fact, that you fool yourself. You do all the right motions as one. And besides, you're nice to everyone. You go to church, either every Sunday, or most of the time, or you go on Holidays, and most importantly, whats societies' most twisted lie: you believe in God. That's hardly enough for God. That's like telling your AP English teacher you can say the Alphabet backwards. Let me share some hard core truth with you. Believing in God, doesn't make you a Christian. Period.

There's a difference between saying you are Christian, and living like one. And there is also a difference between being a fan of Jesus and a follower of Jesus. Being a follower and a Christian need to go hand in hand. All this time, you've probably thought yourself a follower. And maybe you are. But my goal here is to convict you farther.

Fandom:

The definition of fan in the dictionary is this, "An enthusiastic admirer."  

It's just that. It's the crowd in the stadium of the football game. The girls who never miss their favorite TV shows ever and have them recorded. The people that are up to date on the most famous celebrities, and perhaps know ALL about them. From their birthdays to favorite clothing accessories. 

           In Jesus' day, there were thousands upon thousands of fans that followed Jesus around when He preached. They would camp out, listen to his truth, and all the good things they wanted to hear. Many people were inspired by his teachings. Jesus even did a miracle of using some pieces of bread to feed thousands at one point. Talk about yummy benefits! Jesus wouldn't be the only thing I'd start admiring.But at one point, in Luke chapter 14, Jesus decided to draw the heady line. Ultimately, it wasn't the size of the crowd that knew and listened to him, it was their level of commitment. 

"Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: ' if anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.' "

That's some serious stuff. At this, I'm sure a good amount of people started getting up and walking away. That's not what they wanted to hear. Everything was going great. Why did he have to say that? Because it's never been about what we want, or about us in general, but all about Him. The second thing, is the confusion of why he said "...does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters..." This obviously goes against what the bible says to love everyone. Even your enemies. But that's not what he was getting at. His point was that even though it was culturally disgraceful to leave your family without their blessing, following Jesus meant sacrifice. It would be different if the family supported your decision to follow him. 

Other translations state, " 'You cannot be my disciple, unless you love me more than...' " Here the point is that he is talking about comparison. In comparison to everything/everyone that He's given you, you must love Him beyond all other measures. With your whole heart. God doesn't do second best in our lives. It's all or nothing. 

Follower:

The definition of Follower in the dictionary is this, 

"A person who follows  another in regard to his or her ideas or belief; disciple or adherent." 

or 

"A person who imitates, copies, or takes as a model or ideal"

Most people have John 3:16  memorized. But what they don't have memorized is Luke 9:23.

"If anyone would come after me, 
he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." 

Everyone knows you are suppose to believe in God, which John 3:16 emphasizes.But to most fans, Luke 9:23 hasn't sounded appealing to what they want to give, or maybe they just haven't heard of it. Either way,  it emphasizes following. 

A lot of people think their followers because they know about God. But they don't actually know God. They confuse their knowledge of Him for Intimacy. Intimacy is a whole different level. People believe they know God by all the facts, sermons and lectures they've heard and studied over the years. But that's just like saying you know all about a celebrity but you're not close to them. For those of us who have grown up in a Christian family, hearing the words, "Jesus died on the cross because He loves us so much" has lost it's luster, if you will. We've grown up hearing about it and it being said so much that it never truly took root. The seed was planted, but not nurtured enough to make it our own. It never became intimate. And now, that's one of the biggest reasons why we have a hard time understanding why God wants to be known by us.

"O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. 

You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my every thought when far away. 

You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment you know where I am. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, LORD."

Honestly, sometimes I still have trouble with this verse. I have trouble letting it sink my heart in awe or wooed by love...His love is so profound I just can not grasp it! However, it does put me into awe that He would want to lavish us with love, His creation, because we'er so...well, you can't even compare yourself. But to the point. Being a follower requires a full pledged commitment to being aware of Him in everything you think or do. Once you can grasp that, it's easier to keep Him at the front of your life like this. This allows for growing intimacy. It allows for a deep relationship with Him. And it makes it hundred times easier to live and be a devoted follower, and not just call yourself a Christian because you feel, not know, that there is a God.

This is all just part of what defines a fan from a follower, but you"ll have to read, Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman to discover the rest. So my question is...

What are you? Just kidding. 

What do you want?

Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman

http://www.christianbook.com/not-fan-teen-edition/kyleidleman/9780310734000/pd/734001/1304450032?event=HPF2

That Sticky Mask

Until this Summer, I've been fooling myself. I've thought myself a follower of Jesus, when I actually was just a fan. I've done the obvious things that one does, like going to church, (every Sunday - that should give me bonus points right?) I do my devotions (pretty much every day...but the fact is I DO do them!) I don't swear,  or get into drama. I have that I'm Christian on facebook. I put bible verses on facebook...people publicly know - people I don't even talk to - know that I'm a Christian. So why wouldn't I be a follower?

Well, now I can finally answer that for myself. I'm simply not a follower because that's all where my fandom ends. I'm not willing to sacrifice more. More as in...all of me. Everything. I've been happy to live and say to an extension, but that's all. Anything more, that could cause tension, or awkwardness, or sadness with the people around me, hasn't been worth losing in my mind. Those things like everlasting best friends and family aren't worth the pain I would have to endure.

In the last year, I've been getting some serious desires in my heart to live for God. And they were like small flickers burning low on a candle, slowly growing bigger and bigger. The flame was alive in my heart. But i couldn't seem to make it reality in my actions. I could never seem to satisfy the desires. They were unquenchable. Unrelenting. And it was undeniably frustrating. I couldn't figure it all out. It didn't matter how much I cried out to God about them. I knew God had put them there. So why wasn't anything happening?! I found myself praying the same prayer everyday. I wanted to live for God. He was surely pleased with that. But in the end, I realized I never actually gave Him my heart. Okay so all of me.  I just told Him over and over the same things he already knew. But then I got it. I was asking the wrong question. The question wasn't, "why haven't you been doing anything?" It was, "Why wasn't I giving God everything?" Friends, if you don't give God your all, he can't use you. He doesn't want an ecstatic fan that wants to live for Him. He wants a revelation. He wants a full blooded follower.

It wasn't till after I got reading, Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman that this big mystery of the year in which I suffered was solved. The chapters were about diagnosing fandom and which one you might be. One of the last ones was, "Are you more focused on the Outside Than the Inside?" 

When I read the title, I was positive that wasn't me. Yet I left a little open room open to just in case, and if I could learn anything from it. But as I got into it, I didn't get very far before I stopped, eyes starring, frozen. Oh my goodness, that's me! Suddenly, truth reverberated in my heart and head. Everything was connected. I could piece things together and the truth came ridiculously easy. I couldn't believe it. It was like God waited for this moment, counting down the days, hours, minutes. For the fun of it, I imagined him jumping up and down clapping His hands. And smiling. But that's not the end. I felt like a heavy fog was lifted from me. And with it,  I felt an enviable freedom.

That sticky mask. 
I didn't realize I had been living with a mask on. People didn't know me at school as that Christian girl who is really religious as they might say. But the thing is, Christianity isn't a religion, it's a choice and how we live for God. But anyway, my best friends didn't know I didn't go to dances anymore because it was wrong, and wholly ungodly. They just figured because they weren't always fun. Didn't know I didn't listen to any music that wasn't Christian. Or that I did devotions. And they most certainly didn't know about my desire to talk to the popular girl who I knew needed God. Or the people that everyone talked about behind their back. The desire was there every time. But you can't be a follower behind a facade. Ultimately, they really, really didn't know me. I was such a fake. I was behind a mask, afraid to be seen and judged for who I really was, and hurt them with the sacrifices I was openly ready to make to make a statement about my faith. About God.
It's incredibly hard, and hurting, to take that mask off. To reveal yourself. Everything that I had been hiding was all the good things best friends should know about me. I knew after they knew the truth, they would wonder who I really was. I asking for them to accept the polar difference. I was asking for them to accept ...the real me.The one they thought they knew.

Friends, wearing a mask that long blurs your vision. It gets too heavy to wear, and ruins you. Don't make the mistake of wearing one, only to realize it when it's too late and still have the stickiness, the after burn, to deal with. You may have true freedom. But there still is a price to pay. It's impossible to have desires that involve living for God and try doing that behind a facade.  You can't be who you really are behind something your not. You have to choose.

So, where's your heart?