We've All Witnessed It

Drama.
Back-stabbing.
Revenge.
Hate.
Jealousy.
Hypocrisy.

They all break up friendships. You've seen it happen. I don't need to explain scenarios to you for you to understand what I mean, because, well, it's everywhere. Especially in high school. One minute someone who you thought was your friend suddenly is the person you're spreading rumors about.

But I feel for that person who is rejected. Whether she stole a boyfriend or loss her virginity, the problem runs deeper than most care to notice. Everyone points their fingers with condemnation while shaming her with their eyes. She feel like she wears a scarlet letter.

In the book of Lamentations Judah is personified as a woman. This really caught my attention and for the first chapter all I could think about was how alike high school this was. Everyone stares and laughs at the girl...and they don't see their own hypocrisy: "With no one to help her, the adversaries saw her and mocked at her downfall" (vs.7). Lamentations 1:2 says, "She weeps bitterly in the night...she has none to comfort her. All her friends have dealt treacherously with her.They have become her enemies." She is lonely and the saddest part is...she has no choice. No one cares to be seen with her. Everyone is afraid to.

Judah hadn't realized how great her consequences would be, or how desolate she would become (vs. 9). She almost seems shocked at the revelation, and the realization of how disobedient she truly was starts to sink in. This hard lesson has put the fear of God in her.

She continues by saying, "Is it nothing to you, all you who pass by? Is there any sorrow like my sorrow?" (vs. 12). She's asking for compassion, or for even a small ounce of understanding. But no one wants to. Because to do that, they'd have to admit that they understand her nature to sin. They'd have to admit they were no better than her.

Many times throughout this chapter she exclaims, "I have no comforter." In verse 16 she weeps for her lonliness and how conscious she is of how distant her comforter (God) is from her. In verse 18 she expands upon how rebellious she has been to her righteous and just God, and how undeserving she is of His mercy. The price for disobedience has never been so harsh...and costly.

By verse 20 she is crying out in distress to God - she can't deal with the overwhelming pain, shame, and guilt she suffers. In 21 the people is still rejoicing in her pain, and she reports it to God. She sees their hypocrisy and how unjust it is.

But the last verse, 22, is a warning and even a prophesy, if you will, about those of us who have scorned someone like her. We will have repercussions, my friends: "Let all their wickedness come before You, and do to them as You have done to me for all my transgressions..." Your sins are no better than anyone else's. We all lie and deceive ourselves in this because we are too prideful and self-righteous. Be on your guard, my friends. Confess your sins to God, so on judgement day, your mind doesn't reel back to this blog and the book of Lamentations. Take this warning and heed it wisely.

How Do They Do It???

How do they do it? I've often asked myself this question, huffing a little in frustration as I wondered how some people can do it. How can some people be overflowing with love constantly?

 I consider myself a loving person who cares a lot about people and being there for  them. For those that know me, I want to be everyone's friend. And sometimes, when I'm feeling super Jesus-like, I want to be his or her best friend. I love encouraging people, spending time and buying gifts as a gesture of love. I could barely know you and say, "Wanna go do something?"  Of course, I'm generally an introvert who is shy at first, but once I open up there is no stopping me. So you  better be ready!

But then there are those days....You know those days; those days you just want to avoid other human beings and watch Netflix. Or just sleep. Oh, and if you're feeling really anti-social, cuddle up with your cat and eat  ice cream. Whatever way is your style, you're not feeling very selfless and Jesus-like. I'm not saying that it's bad to have some serious alone  time now and then and rewind - no. I'm saying there needs to be a balance.  Otherwise the attitude becomes habitual, and suddenly, we're all we focus on.

That is dangerous; the idea that we don't have time for others, we just want to relax. I mean yeah we all have busy days, but don't let it turn into an excuse. That's when things get ugly. Trust me, I know. I ruined a relationship with someone because of this. But the world does not revolve around you.

So, with that said, maybe you've felt that attitude and self-focus creeping in, and you're wondering, how do some people do it??? Well, let me answer that.

Those who never tire of giving themselves and loving in every way possible have a secret weapon: the Bible. If you're thinking that you thought it was going to be way more exciting, let me elaborate. People who never tire of being selfless and giving love get into God's word daily. They let God speak to their hearts and in response God sows seeds inside of them that grow and prosper. They pray for God's words to penetrate their heart so they can produce a full harvest of righteousness. The seeds inside of them comes to life through obedience.

Their focus is not on themselves. It's on God. And you know why they're so happy? Because God's word gives them the energy - spiritual energy. It's a great, beautiful thing. It doesn't feel like work to compliment someone or just say hi and smile in the hallway. It's not weird to talk to the kid no one talks to in class. It all becomes second nature. Does your heart desire at this moment to be like that? If it does, God is speaking to your heart; right now, right this minute.

So, how do you become the person everyone wants to be friends with? That never tires of impacting someone's life in small ways? That's always loving and just a beautiful person inside and out?
1.) Get into God's word daily. Seek  Him; I promise He'll respond.
2.) Believe you can make a difference. Guess what- it's your calling. As a Christian, God calls us to love one another. You were made to make a difference.

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." - John 15:12
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."1 Corinthians 13:13

Permeating Love

She stood there, wishing she could meet Him. He had something about Him that was enticing, like He could answer all her life questions. And she wanted those answers. But she’d never get them. He was like any other religious man, well known and busy with their holy work. No time for individuals. Just crowds.

Except, He was different. She couldn’t pin Him , like He didn’t come from here. He was natural. yet alien-ish. Religious, yet had reached out to the least of  these. She was no fool. She might be a woman,  but even she knew you didn’t associate with the lepers outside the city. She had followed Him. With her own eyes had she witnessed Him heal an elderly woman that was at death’s door moments before. Of course she didn’t share this with anyone. Not even her betrothed. What would they think? She had deliberately left her duties. It was a shortcut, she told herself. There was no harm done. Yet she had been alone  and her family would of accused her of being too interested in his works. The word, “Follower” would have easily been on the tips of their tongues.  She couldn’t be afforded to be cast out. She struggled to know more, but what was it worth, if He didn’t even know she existed?

She gazed at Him  once more.
Her trance gone at the shouting of people’s cries. “Kill Him! Kill Him!” Her eyes riveted to the fists slicing the air. There were thousands. The sun’s heat beat down hard, and she could only imagine it was punishment for the hate of this man. It didn’t make much sense to her, but it felt right. She wiped sweat from her brow. What did this one man mean to these people? He was harmless. Had they not already proved that? Or was there more, indeed, to fear?

She looked down at her dusty feet and sandals. Maybe it was her own bitterness toward these people that caused her such strife. Maybe the despisement of a people she had grown up with, lived with. A culture where rules were strict and freedom constrained. Where love felt more like religion than a Savior.  Wasn’t that what this man, Jesus, was? He claimed to be a Savior. She had gazed for hours into his eyes when he preached. His voice soft and resonant. All she saw was love. She traced it every time to her heart, for that was where his eyes seemed to pierce her. Like He knew her. Like He loved her. In that split second, she could swear without a doubt that it was a love she never knew. As if she had never known what love was before.  He penetrated her soul, and that was why she stood there,  hard,  rigid, defying secretly every human around her. She would not admit to them that she rather follow someone unknown, but who infused in her an alive spirit.

She impulsively stepped forward. Nudging her way through the crowd, uncaring  about the judgeful eyes and jabbing blather.  She stumbled to the front of the chaotic uproar.
The moment slowed down.
In hands she imagined nails coming down to thrust into his flesh.
Jesus stumbled with the cross.
“No!” Her voice echoed in her heart.
The guard’s sword sliced down on her side.
His eyes went wide. The mistake evident.
Jesus reached for her body.
He pierced her eyes. Permeated her soul.
“Love...you’re what I’ve searched for.”   she let out.
A tear burned down his face.
“Yes,  I who love you.”
Her dazed eyes noted the cross. She touched his bloodied face.
“You will die.”
“Let there be no doubt in my love.”
She wilted in his arms. Eyes glazing over. 
“You’re the love I’ve searched to save.” (<Jesus said)

The Purpose of Prayer

The primary purpose of prayer is not to change circumstances; 

the primary purpose of prayer is to change us!

 But either way, the chief objective remains the same:

 to glorify God in any and every situation. — Mark Batterson

So many times, we lose our focus when we are praying. We are fixated on getting out of them, wanting God to take our problems away so we can be relieved. If we are honest with ourselves, our prayers tend to gradually lean more to our own form of comfort...don't they? We start praying "praying away" prayers, asking God to get us out of difficult, painful, and challenging situations. We tell Him, "I didn't ask for this!" And He says, I know. And we sit in our chair, contemplating, "But why, God, why?" Sound familiar? You're not alone. God tends to show us his answer where we would not think to look; right at the problem itself. We tell ourselves there is another way.

Lean back and mull this over:            We are so set on getting out, we forget to grow through them.

                                    Our thoughts so anxious, we fail to get anything out them. 

We are so fixated on God changing our circumstances that we never permit God to change us. 

Sometimes the purpose of prayer is to get us out of circumstances, prayers of deliverance, but most of the time it is to get us through them. We need to stop asking God to solve our problems, and ask Him to help us stand firm in them, stay sustained, and have the willpower to continue in integrity. When has God ever told us to take the easy route? It never deepens our relationship with Him, never increase our faith, our trust, and definitely never shapes us into the person we were created to be. 

We want to pray away every problem, but short-sighted prayers will truncate God's perfect plan. 

In John 9 there was a man that was born blind. The people assumed it had something to do with him or his parents sinning, or maybe just a lack of faith. But Jesus corrected them saying, "This happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.” Never doubt that God has a plan. We must remember, that through everything, in every good and bad situation, that it is all for God's glory. When we change our focus to God's Glory and perspective to how our prayers will change us, the purpose of prayer will be fulfilled. 

Perfect Love Casts Out All Fear

There is no fear in love. 

But perfect love drives out fear, 

because fear has to do with punishment. 

The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

1 John 4:18

God is Love.

And that's the great thing. 

It's so promising and hopeful. Yet, we can't seem to fully understand it and let it sink into our heart. We have all these questions. For example, How do we avoid fear? How do we trust God in the middle of fear? How do we overcome fear? It's impossible, we say. 

But the truth is, we aren't really searching how to counteract fear. And yes it is a serious weakness, mentally and spiritually. We try to look for ways to avoid fear and all the things that trigger it in our life. 

But we are missing a very valuable point:  We may not know God as well as we thought. 

When we truly know God and have a deep relationship with Him, his love makes us whole. We don't have room for weaknesses that might of been stumbling blocks before.  Suddenly his love consumes us and we feel like we are on top of the world. Like we're empowered. Undefeatable. A winner.  

We're trying to counteract something without the antidote. 

It's hard to explain what it's like to feel the true love of God when it consumes you, if you haven't experienced it before. You don't know that moment of dawning realization that comes and you just sit in awe for a moment, lingering. But let me tell you, when it hits you, it hits hard. And every time you think of it, it's as if hearing it for the first time. 

God's love impacts.

We are made to be loved. To have an undeniably strong response to it. So how do we understand let alone deal with fear? We must first go on an adventure of digging deeper into who our creator is. It's not about the questions in discovering to rid yourself of that awful feeling that comes over us and chills run up our spine. It's about trusting  God's Word as it reveals to us his perfect Love. (Which, is Him) So Love, is the antidote. Until you know that the problem is not overcoming fear by yourself, or overcoming it at all, you will never find the antidote. 

Once you get to know God, he takes you on the journey of your life. It's deep, adventurous, intimate, and perfect. You will crave it. Desire it like nothing you ever have before. And it lasts, that's the great news. It never gets old. Fear may not just disappear. It may take a while to get used to the idea that saturating yourself with God's perfect love cleanses you of anything weak the devil could use against you. 

But here's the next biggest thing: We must learn to trust God's Love. 

And that only happens when we spend time in his Word getting to know him, and learning to love him back. We have to believe that our creator will never let us down or forsake us. Only then can we fall into his overflowing Love that casts out all fear. Not trusting is fear itself. So what do you have to lose? Do you believe in a God who keeps his promises?

So is Love calling you?

Living out Worship

Gentle music in the back ground, quiet prayer, still mind, a long row of hard wooden pews filled with whispering voices,

To the contrast of music lifting your soul into a joyful song, hands raised to heaven, words roll off your tongue as if they are seeping straight from your heart.

One of these might be the first thing that pops into your head when you think of worship. These kinds of worship aren’t wrong there just a different preference of how you worship God. But worship isn’t just an action you do or a feeling you have every Sunday morning when you prepare to listen to the preacher. Worship isn’t just a verb you do every Sunday morning but a way of life.

     Here I give you seven ways of living out worship.

·        Give your life over to him.

“Those who try to keep their lives will lose them and those who give up their life will keep it.”

Luke 17:33

This is the first step to worship. If you don’t give him your life what makes you think you can truly worship Him? He must have your whole life or the “worshiping” you do doesn’t mean a thing. To truly worship Him means to worship with your whole heart, soul, mind and strength.

·        Be Unselfish and Humble.

       “In your life you must think and act like Christ Jesus. Christ himself was like God in everything.

But he did not think that being equal with God was something to be used for his own benefit. But he gave up his place with God and made himself nothing.”

     Philippians 2:5-7

Humble in all your ways even in worship with others around. Don’t be haughty in your countenance always thinking better of yourself than of others. True humbleness of heart will get you farther than selfish pride. Don’t read this and think, “Oh, humbleness of heart” and act humble but think prideful. God sees the heart as man sees the body.  To live true to form you must humble yourself in the sight of God, leaving your old life to follow the ways of Him.

·        Serve like Jesus did.

“’Whoever wants to become first among you must serve the rest of you like a slave. In the same way, the Son of Man did not come to be served. He came to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many people.”

        Mathew 20:27-28

A servant is the least of a house, the worst position. What could be worse than a slave? Maybe a garbage man, actually I think I’d rather be a garbage man. But even though it is the worst of the worst, God still tells us to humble ourselves enough to become one, to serve like he did and does. Just like Jesus washed the dirty dusty feet of the disciples, we are to “wash the feet” of our fellow brethren. We are to do the dirty work and not complain, to work as hard as possible even for the littlest payment. In fact we are to work even if we ourselves aren’t the one getting the benefit. This, in truth, is worshipping and honoring God by serving others for His name sake. When we have a good attitude we are giving him the glory but when we have a bad attitude people begin to wonder if we even care. Giving God a good testimony is worshipping his name. Letting people realize your love for him is not just at the surface but has deep roots in your heart.

·        Love as He loves

   “’This is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you.

The greatest love a person can show is to die for his friend. “

     John 15:12-13

To love those who hurt you, to love those who have persecuted you. Love is a great word not meant to be tarnished like the world has done to it. In the worlds eyes love is all that gushy love that happens between a boy and a girl. Not true, the love that the world has depicted is a love that gives once and fades like the days. But the love that God has depicted is more than just a onetime thing. It’s a self-sacrificing love, life devoting love. It never ends and never has limits. This is the kind of love God wants you to show others, even your enemies.

·        Be a living sacrifice

“Since God has shown us great mercy, I beg you to offer your lives as a living sacrifice to him. Your offering must be only for God and pleasing to him, which is the spiritual way for you to worship.”

     Romans 12:1

Sacrifice, doesn’t mean to go put your life out on the line waiting for death. That’s not the only kind of sacrifice God has depicted here. Yes, if the time comes that God has chosen you to place your life in the hands of death, than do it without complaint praising and worshipping God the whole way. But there’s another kind of sacrifice, a living sacrifice. Sacrificing your favorite things what you watch, read, listen to, do, and even friends you have. These may seem “little”, but in the long run those things would have feed the “bad dog” in you, but since you sacrificed those things to do better things, worth honor and glory, you feed the “good dog” in you. It’s the one you feed the most that will survive. What you feed your brain is what your personality becomes. The real question is, is your personality a bad or good testimony? You can’t truly worship if your heart isn’t fully God’s.

·        Carry a Cross, Just like Jesus.

“’Whoever is not willing to carry his cross and follow me cannot be my follower.”

            Luke 14:27

Carry the cross does not mean we literally have to carry a wooden cross everywhere. It just means we have to carry our spiritual cross. The burdens and suffering, they’re all in the package no matter what, but because of Jesus we don’t have to carry it alone. He will always be by our side to help us when we are weak and at our end. In truth that’s when we feel him the most. At the end of our road and the cross is bearing down as if to crush us if we just take one misstep, that’s when Jesus is the closest to us because he is the only one who knows what it’s like, but He had to bare his cross alone.
·        Keep your eyes on Him.

“Let us look only to Jesus, the One who began our Faith and who makes it perfect. He suffered death on the cross. But he accepted the shame as if it were nothing because of the joy that God put before him. And now he is sitting at the right side of God’s throne.”

                   Hebrews 12:2

The pain he must have endured seems more than a grown man could endure, the pikes and whips, torture that was put upon him. It sounds horrible but to actually endure it seems an overpowering horror. Why would he do such a thing when so many people rejected and reject him still? He knew that, he had to have, I’m sure Satan used that many times on that horrible day. But it was the other thoughts that probably kept him going. Even when the whole world indeed was against him he kept going. Why you ask? Let me tell you the other thoughts he had that day. As he was beaten and literally broken the only thoughts he had were of you. He knew all this was worth it because you would come to be his through this. Like a man has to pay for his fiancés ring, Jesus also had to pay for our “engagement” to him. He knew some would reject, but just the knowledge that you and I would accept him made him have the motivation of going through with all this. And now that we know what he has gone through, don’t you think he deserves for us to live for him? Doesn’t he deserve to have your whole life, your praise, honor, and worship?

 

  Worship isn’t just a verb, but is a life style. In order to truly worship Him, you must give him your life, or your worship truly doesn’t mean a thing. Giving Him your life isn’t a onetime thing either it’s a lifelong commitment you have to work at. Your words, your actions, choices you make, it all must be sent to the throne of God. If it isn’t honoring him why would you do it? This may seem like a daunting, up tight, strict task but in truth doesn’t God deserve it, isn’t He worth living for? Considering

Our outcome whether you do or don’t. I think it’s worth Living out Worship.

Raining In My Heart

Rain poured and drummed numerous beats of a symphony around her. She sat there, hair falling down over her face. Wet. Cold. Heavy. She shivered in response. She brought her legs closer to her body, cuddling.  She sat in the road, watching the heat rise up from the cooling rain. She wished her heart could do that. Numbly she touched her lips. They had to be blue. Her eyes were dark and sodden like the drowning dirt. The dirt trailed in strands down the road. Just like her tears over her cheeks and neck. Angel was crying mercy.

My heart cries out for that girl. Granted, she's fictional, but for all I know, there is a girl in the middle of this type of situation somewhere in the world. Right this minute. And it's raining in my heart for her. 

There is a ridiculous amount of suffering in the world, suffering we don't need. Suffering that is killing us, if not the deprivation of food and nutrition. 

And I want to be part of it.

Being part of suffering, for me, has the context of two things: Compassion and Love. What an odd ball mix. Suffering is their paradox, right? 

 Not exactly. 

Here's my perspective: Suffering in compassion & love. 

Google's definition of suffering is this:

1)Experience or be subjected to

2)Be affected by or subject to

Jesus' definition is this:

Surely he took up our pain

    and bore our suffering,

yet we considered him punished by God,

    stricken by him, and afflicted.

5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,

    he was crushed for our iniquities;

the punishment that brought us peace was on him,

    and by his wounds we are healed.

Isaiah 53:4-5

That's a lot of hard core suffering he did for our sins. Jesus just didn't suffer because pain is painful. No, HIS REASON for suffering was more eternal and worthwhile. "For God so loved the world that He gave his only  begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him, should not perish but have everlasting life."

Jesus suffered in a positive way.

That's how I want to suffer.

When we are suffering together, we are probably doing it out of love. For example, there are thousands of martyrs every day who die for their faith. They suffer in love because of who they love and in return first loved them. They suffer in compassion because they understand the injustice done to others along side of them being persecuted for the same reasons. The fight is worth the suffering.

Suffering always has bad connotations. For all we know, the girl Angel was suffering in compassion and love. What if I finished the story...

Angel looked up. In the distance, she could see Jesus on the cross. Rugged and butchered. He didn't deserve it. She did. She had stolen that apple in the market. Her growling hunger seemed to override her guilt. It was the reason she could even feel shame. The rain pounded on her like that shame. She poked her toe. She couldn't even feel it. In her girlish way, she outstretched her wrinkled, small hands, lifting them high in the air. She winced. The guard at kicked her side when touching Jesus. Lifting her face to the heavens, she wailed, "I will suffer for love because you suffered for mine."

What is Love????

Sometimes, I really don't think the world knows what love is. Actually, as a whole, it doesn't. Think about it. There is so many different types of people; broken people, suicidal teenagers, devastated friendships...

What do they all have in common?

 Pain. Pain. Pain is not caused by love. Love heals. And I know you can argue that love has broken up relationships, marriages, etc. But I firmly don't believe this. Don't you think if it was true love, that wouldn't happen? I mean, no, this world is not perfect, so perfect love doesn't exist, but a love that goes beyond what you ordinarily see, does. And why? Because it's from God. Because God is love. Those who believe in God believe in love. Because they've experienced it first hand. You can never argue this point unless you've experienced it. And even then, you wouldn't argue this point. Again, why? Well...

It bears all things,

believes all things,

endures all things.

Love never fails. 

 Love is sustainable. Beautiful. Gracious. Overwhelming. Love, in itself, when alone, as just a word, is perfect. Because God is perfect. But what we do, the circumstances that arise in this world, that try seeking, trying, utilizing love, are what cause them to fumble. To give up. Maybe even try again, but when they do, it never seems to get easier. And that's because, one of the biggest secrets Satan hates to let be known, is that people ultimately, are trying to have love. The bigger picture? God. They're seeking God. Their life just becomes a web or maze of confusion. They know they've been down this road before, or tried similar routes, but that's the thing. They are always looking in the wrong places. Always going the wrong directions. Looking the wrong way. Getting the wrong idea. The truth is, they are looking to the world for answers. For some, that's all they've known. God has never existed, or he's just a figment of imagination that has no solid foundation. 

The world is a lost place. People have always tried taking control, taking things into their own hands, and they've lost focus over the generations. It's never worked. You can try to tell me that there are normal happy families who aren't Christian or know God, but I bet that is based off of observation. And what about those who tell me you are those people that are live happy lives? Truly, deep down, somewhere, if you searched yourselves, you would find you're not truly satisfied.And what if you're positive that you are right? I would say you either haven't looked close enough because you don't want to, which would only imply you are afraid to find out, or that you fool yourself. And it is very rare for people to be happy all the time. Nearly impossible. But there is a huge difference between soulfully satisfied and an emotional happy. Soulfully satisfied is when, despite everything, you have something to rejoice about, to be thankful for, to be content despite your circumstance.  

And this is where I lead in to tell you that Love never fails.  Love doesn't fail people. People fail love. People fail God. But God, won't fail you. He loves you. He loves you with Agape love. (Self-sacrificing love)  I say love never fails because love is exactly what always picks people back up again. That healing. That couple that fought last night, they made up because of their love for each other. Love brings people together. It's a connection. Love is so powerful that it overcomes evil. That teenager who's been an orphan since 3 that the mother just found? Love restores what is broken. That teenager all her life probably told herself her mother didn't love her. Hated her. Then what changed in the mother? Love. She finally knows what it is. Has experienced God's grace. His love. Has experienced Him. (Why else would love be so powerful?) What's going to bring that teenager around? Love. 

Love is able to bear all things,

                                          believe all things, 

                                                                  endure all things, .....

                                                                                                     because it's healing. 

Love restores what once was, what was broken, un-whole, shattered.  Love is able to occur because once, along time ago, Jesus broke through death with it. Because it's perfect. He's perfect.  Not even death can kill  or conquer love. It's already been defeated. 

Love has no bounds. No maze or journey to get to it. It's alive and around, but you need to call out to it. To God. That's all. That simple. Only then will you know what love is. Love is...unfathomable. That's why it's powerful. We don't understand either. But we experience it. And because of that experience, we know it's real, true, genuine, and perfect. Prefect because it will never disappoint us. But most importantly, love is sacrificial, never thinking about yourself.

Love doesn't have to be a mystery.

Call for it. 

<3

Thankfulness is a Constant Verb

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, 

do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, 

giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Colossians 3:17

 For the longest time now, I've been trying to figure out what I am most thankful for for this Thanksgiving season. And it has come to this: I am most thankful for who God IS. I know this is late, but that's because until now I haven't been able to figure it out. I wanted something specific, with depth, something not ordinary or lamely original that everyone posts on Facebook, such as, "I am thankful for all my family and friends and those that love me." This really gets old when you've seen it for the hundredth time all worded almost exactly the same as any other. I realize a lot of people are thankful for the same thing and it's just personal for each person, and to not be too harsh and critical, but there is a different point that unnerves me that is the true reason. 

• When was the last time you saw someone post about why they're thankful or because of whom they are thankful? People end their thankfulness with it flying in the wind, letting the world know what they are thankful for, but never consider the reason behind what they have and who they have. 

        It's frustrating to see the world so absorbed with themselves resulting in a shallow life. They are missing out on the many blessings that would show them what they are truly missing rather than being deceived by a lifeless life that is missing God. 

• The second thing is if people live every day as thankful as they are on one day of the year. I realize this is a really hard thing to do as we are so caught up in life. Even I have trouble with this. But may I offer this as a daily challenge? And not a struggle? 

        We tend to reflect about all we're thankful for on one day as well, and some more so than others if you take it more seriously. For some, it's enough to just bring to the forefront what we know to be thankful for like robots when really never truly contemplating anything. So my question is, are we truly appreciative of all we mention? Of all we live with and what we own? 

I strongly believe that true thankfulness is:

 Living a Godly life...

 in which we serve Him (not ourselves) in anything and everything...

Giving all the glory and Honor to Him...

Praising Him even throughout the storms...

Thanking Him in prayer for our life daily...

 To put it simply, if you are truly thankful,...

You will live a life that is for God in response to Him being the reason that you live. 

"I'm a Christian" Catch: Fan or Follower?

It's so easy to call yourself a Christian. So easy in fact, that you fool yourself. You do all the right motions as one. And besides, you're nice to everyone. You go to church, either every Sunday, or most of the time, or you go on Holidays, and most importantly, whats societies' most twisted lie: you believe in God. That's hardly enough for God. That's like telling your AP English teacher you can say the Alphabet backwards. Let me share some hard core truth with you. Believing in God, doesn't make you a Christian. Period.

There's a difference between saying you are Christian, and living like one. And there is also a difference between being a fan of Jesus and a follower of Jesus. Being a follower and a Christian need to go hand in hand. All this time, you've probably thought yourself a follower. And maybe you are. But my goal here is to convict you farther.

Fandom:

The definition of fan in the dictionary is this, "An enthusiastic admirer."  

It's just that. It's the crowd in the stadium of the football game. The girls who never miss their favorite TV shows ever and have them recorded. The people that are up to date on the most famous celebrities, and perhaps know ALL about them. From their birthdays to favorite clothing accessories. 

           In Jesus' day, there were thousands upon thousands of fans that followed Jesus around when He preached. They would camp out, listen to his truth, and all the good things they wanted to hear. Many people were inspired by his teachings. Jesus even did a miracle of using some pieces of bread to feed thousands at one point. Talk about yummy benefits! Jesus wouldn't be the only thing I'd start admiring.But at one point, in Luke chapter 14, Jesus decided to draw the heady line. Ultimately, it wasn't the size of the crowd that knew and listened to him, it was their level of commitment. 

"Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: ' if anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.' "

That's some serious stuff. At this, I'm sure a good amount of people started getting up and walking away. That's not what they wanted to hear. Everything was going great. Why did he have to say that? Because it's never been about what we want, or about us in general, but all about Him. The second thing, is the confusion of why he said "...does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters..." This obviously goes against what the bible says to love everyone. Even your enemies. But that's not what he was getting at. His point was that even though it was culturally disgraceful to leave your family without their blessing, following Jesus meant sacrifice. It would be different if the family supported your decision to follow him. 

Other translations state, " 'You cannot be my disciple, unless you love me more than...' " Here the point is that he is talking about comparison. In comparison to everything/everyone that He's given you, you must love Him beyond all other measures. With your whole heart. God doesn't do second best in our lives. It's all or nothing. 

Follower:

The definition of Follower in the dictionary is this, 

"A person who follows  another in regard to his or her ideas or belief; disciple or adherent." 

or 

"A person who imitates, copies, or takes as a model or ideal"

Most people have John 3:16  memorized. But what they don't have memorized is Luke 9:23.

"If anyone would come after me, 
he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." 

Everyone knows you are suppose to believe in God, which John 3:16 emphasizes.But to most fans, Luke 9:23 hasn't sounded appealing to what they want to give, or maybe they just haven't heard of it. Either way,  it emphasizes following. 

A lot of people think their followers because they know about God. But they don't actually know God. They confuse their knowledge of Him for Intimacy. Intimacy is a whole different level. People believe they know God by all the facts, sermons and lectures they've heard and studied over the years. But that's just like saying you know all about a celebrity but you're not close to them. For those of us who have grown up in a Christian family, hearing the words, "Jesus died on the cross because He loves us so much" has lost it's luster, if you will. We've grown up hearing about it and it being said so much that it never truly took root. The seed was planted, but not nurtured enough to make it our own. It never became intimate. And now, that's one of the biggest reasons why we have a hard time understanding why God wants to be known by us.

"O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. 

You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my every thought when far away. 

You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment you know where I am. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, LORD."

Honestly, sometimes I still have trouble with this verse. I have trouble letting it sink my heart in awe or wooed by love...His love is so profound I just can not grasp it! However, it does put me into awe that He would want to lavish us with love, His creation, because we'er so...well, you can't even compare yourself. But to the point. Being a follower requires a full pledged commitment to being aware of Him in everything you think or do. Once you can grasp that, it's easier to keep Him at the front of your life like this. This allows for growing intimacy. It allows for a deep relationship with Him. And it makes it hundred times easier to live and be a devoted follower, and not just call yourself a Christian because you feel, not know, that there is a God.

This is all just part of what defines a fan from a follower, but you"ll have to read, Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman to discover the rest. So my question is...

What are you? Just kidding. 

What do you want?

Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman

http://www.christianbook.com/not-fan-teen-edition/kyleidleman/9780310734000/pd/734001/1304450032?event=HPF2

When it Comes Down to It, Matter Doesn't Matter

 You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of dust...this is what I sing as I sit here, ring-less. Discouraged. Guilty. A burden of a tear heavy in my right eye.  I rub my left hand ring finger. It's so barren. It's gone. My ring is actually gone. I couldn't believe my eyes. The ring I had only been wearing for a matter of weeks, that meant the world to me, something I would consider a prized possession, was lost.

 Since my one post entitled, Not Just Any Perfect Love Story, I've been working on creating my own love story. I've been trying to develop a love for my future husband now. I want a love story that's beautiful in which I can save myself a ton of heartache later. But that part, was exactly what I kept forgetting to say over and over to myself.  I wasn't memorizing it, so when the devil would try something new, more sneaky, and I didn't immediately back myself up with anything, because I had nothing solid to grasp. There was so much I had written in that post, I couldn't pinpoint anything. In that small amount of time, he was slowly capturing me. It's so easy to get off track, to forget everything important such as already being taken.

The world tells you you're single. God tells you He's already matched you up with some amazing prince charming, and him with you.  You're so valuable, that you've already been given the best. Your other half is exactly what you need to make you one. You were made to be compatible. You're a couple, already connected. And God will see that you find each other, in what we translate as a beginning of a beautiful love story. Don't fear prince charming not being what you wanted, what you expected. Truth is, no one knows you like God knows you. He made you to be and act who you are. Therefore, he knows what you need. And trust me, you will not be disappointed.

Now the question is, how could I forget all this??? Well, I return to the moment before Satan started tempting me to lose my focus. I couldn't think of anything fast enough. My guard was down and I didn't know it. It was like he unhitched my alarm system. Looking back now, I guess it was a slow process he used.  Lazily, I slid aside what was really important; retaining and memorizing the most important phrase: Develop a love for your future husband now. In the way way back of my mind, I thought, I already know this, I already know it all. I'm fine.  I felt like it was already inside my heart. Nothing to worry about. I realize now that if I did bring that, oh-so-important phrase to heart, my "alarm" would of gone off.

This leaves me with the rest of the story.
 I have two cousins that mean the world to me, and one gave me a very, precious, meaningful ring. It was plain, silver, and in Hebrew said, "I am my beloved's, and my beloved mine." It was beautiful. It held an incredible amount of symbolism, and with the ring, felt like I now could never go wrong. It melted my heart every time I looked at it. I wanted that ring to do so much for me. To keep me reliable. To be my 24/7 accountability partner. I counted on that ring to keep me straight. After all, it melted my heart easily. After awhile I naturally out of habit rubbed it with my other fingers, letting it's truth reverberate through me. It's value in my eyes was priceless. And still is.
So recently at a resort in Disney World, I was swimming in a long, river shaped pool. At one point, it almost fell off, probably due to me being cold and veins shrinking. So barely noticing, I just slid it farther on. In the shower later, I realized it was missing. And suddenly my heart fell to the floor. This can't be happening. I thought. It has to be right here somewhere. It has to be. Please be right here... But it wasn't. Deep down, I knew that. Right away I started questioning God for what I was starting to figure out. I felt so...terrible. Unworthy of that ring, unworthy of Him. He took the ring away from me. I felt incredibly punished. I cried out to him silently, under my breath. Why God? Why? I'm so sorry! Please have mercy! Please give it back! I've learned my lesson! I assure you! How couldn't I? Oh Please! Why God? Please! 

The truth is, in the end, matter doesn't matter.

I learned that the very, sacrificing, painful way. That ring could do no more for me than it already it. It encircled my finger. It's like building hope on something that can't stand.  Except I didn't want something I just couldn't see. I wanted something with mass. And the thing is,  that ring was no more alive and real than what was in my heart, honestly. And I find shame in that. Frankly, I was shocked when I realized where my heart really was. I guess God's tests, ( that aren't even punishments, actually) really always do work out for good. And that's the perspective I need to set now.

That ring will never be able to hold my life together for me. I was desperate, and acknowledging that now, I realize why. All these truths were on my heart, but not in my heart. When I normally think of it being on my heart, its something I think about. But it being in my heart, means its actually sunk in. That I actually engage it and live it out.

I am a beautiful thing made out of dust. So are you. And were made to be healed and forgiven. If I'm so desperately sorry, I will pursue these truths more passionately. Be like a ruby. Rubies have their value in rarity. And just like for them, in the end, matter doesn't matter.

Beautiful Things is by Gungor

The Wife of Noble Character

A wife of noble character who can find?

    She is worth far more than rubies.

 Her husband has full confidence in her

    and lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good, not harm,

    all the days of her life.

She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
 She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.

 She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.

She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
 She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.

 She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.


 In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
 She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.

When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

 She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land

                                                                                                                                            

   She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.                                                                                                        
                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

 She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:

 “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”

 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
  but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

 Honor her for all that her hands have done,

    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

-Proverbs 31

Is it worth the beauty to you, 

to achieve it? 

Terminating Your Life, to Find the Terms of a Real One

"The Christian life can be explained 

only in terms of Jesus,

and if your life as a Christian 

can still be explained in terms of you -

your personality,

your willpower, 

your gift,

your talent,

your money,

your courage,

 your scholarship,

your dedication,

your sacrifice,

or your anything - 

then although you may have the Christian life,

you are not yet living it!

True Godliness leaves the world convinced

beyond a shadow of a doubt

 that the only explanation for you,

is Jesus Christ."

-Ian Thomas 

That Sticky Mask

Until this Summer, I've been fooling myself. I've thought myself a follower of Jesus, when I actually was just a fan. I've done the obvious things that one does, like going to church, (every Sunday - that should give me bonus points right?) I do my devotions (pretty much every day...but the fact is I DO do them!) I don't swear,  or get into drama. I have that I'm Christian on facebook. I put bible verses on facebook...people publicly know - people I don't even talk to - know that I'm a Christian. So why wouldn't I be a follower?

Well, now I can finally answer that for myself. I'm simply not a follower because that's all where my fandom ends. I'm not willing to sacrifice more. More as in...all of me. Everything. I've been happy to live and say to an extension, but that's all. Anything more, that could cause tension, or awkwardness, or sadness with the people around me, hasn't been worth losing in my mind. Those things like everlasting best friends and family aren't worth the pain I would have to endure.

In the last year, I've been getting some serious desires in my heart to live for God. And they were like small flickers burning low on a candle, slowly growing bigger and bigger. The flame was alive in my heart. But i couldn't seem to make it reality in my actions. I could never seem to satisfy the desires. They were unquenchable. Unrelenting. And it was undeniably frustrating. I couldn't figure it all out. It didn't matter how much I cried out to God about them. I knew God had put them there. So why wasn't anything happening?! I found myself praying the same prayer everyday. I wanted to live for God. He was surely pleased with that. But in the end, I realized I never actually gave Him my heart. Okay so all of me.  I just told Him over and over the same things he already knew. But then I got it. I was asking the wrong question. The question wasn't, "why haven't you been doing anything?" It was, "Why wasn't I giving God everything?" Friends, if you don't give God your all, he can't use you. He doesn't want an ecstatic fan that wants to live for Him. He wants a revelation. He wants a full blooded follower.

It wasn't till after I got reading, Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman that this big mystery of the year in which I suffered was solved. The chapters were about diagnosing fandom and which one you might be. One of the last ones was, "Are you more focused on the Outside Than the Inside?" 

When I read the title, I was positive that wasn't me. Yet I left a little open room open to just in case, and if I could learn anything from it. But as I got into it, I didn't get very far before I stopped, eyes starring, frozen. Oh my goodness, that's me! Suddenly, truth reverberated in my heart and head. Everything was connected. I could piece things together and the truth came ridiculously easy. I couldn't believe it. It was like God waited for this moment, counting down the days, hours, minutes. For the fun of it, I imagined him jumping up and down clapping His hands. And smiling. But that's not the end. I felt like a heavy fog was lifted from me. And with it,  I felt an enviable freedom.

That sticky mask. 
I didn't realize I had been living with a mask on. People didn't know me at school as that Christian girl who is really religious as they might say. But the thing is, Christianity isn't a religion, it's a choice and how we live for God. But anyway, my best friends didn't know I didn't go to dances anymore because it was wrong, and wholly ungodly. They just figured because they weren't always fun. Didn't know I didn't listen to any music that wasn't Christian. Or that I did devotions. And they most certainly didn't know about my desire to talk to the popular girl who I knew needed God. Or the people that everyone talked about behind their back. The desire was there every time. But you can't be a follower behind a facade. Ultimately, they really, really didn't know me. I was such a fake. I was behind a mask, afraid to be seen and judged for who I really was, and hurt them with the sacrifices I was openly ready to make to make a statement about my faith. About God.
It's incredibly hard, and hurting, to take that mask off. To reveal yourself. Everything that I had been hiding was all the good things best friends should know about me. I knew after they knew the truth, they would wonder who I really was. I asking for them to accept the polar difference. I was asking for them to accept ...the real me.The one they thought they knew.

Friends, wearing a mask that long blurs your vision. It gets too heavy to wear, and ruins you. Don't make the mistake of wearing one, only to realize it when it's too late and still have the stickiness, the after burn, to deal with. You may have true freedom. But there still is a price to pay. It's impossible to have desires that involve living for God and try doing that behind a facade.  You can't be who you really are behind something your not. You have to choose.

So, where's your heart? 

Not Just Any Perfect Love Story

Every girl wishes for that perfect love story. Where the guy is the most handsomest specimen you've ever seen, and it just seems like you both will overcome the world and anything it will send your way. Okay, so that could be a little exaggerated if you are thinking more rational. Other girls don't see any hope on the other hand. You might just look at me and say, "Um, have you been to my school? Because I can't even get a guy to hold a door open for me." And I totally agree with you. What is this? Do we need to go back to the 14th century where knights have the most unthinkable chivalry moves? Because I'm all in. Just kidding, I'm not. Because I've made a discovery, girlfriends. One that I want to change your perspective with.

First of all, I want to start with a quote that validates everything.

"Ladies, a real man opens more than a door. He opens his bible."

You want the perfect prince charming? Then number 1) He better be a Christian  and number 2) He better be the guy God has made just for you.
When we surrender everything to God, always seeking His will for our lives, God blesses us with the only the best. That's what we deserve. Because we are His children. That he loves with an everlasting love. Satan may do a lot of damage and havoc down here, but he's not in control. And that doesn't mean God doesn't want us to have a joy  filled life. On the contrary, He wants us to live to fullest, to be joyful, thankful, and prayer filled.

“A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.” ~ Maya Angelou

Entirely true. A guy shouldn't just see you when he glances or even stares at you. One of the first things that should go off in his head besides "Wow, she's beautiful"  is that you are a beautifully strong woman of God. And what should grow on him, is his admiration to how faithful and pure you are. Those are some key things that will be part of his growing love for you.
When God is your all, and you live with your identity in Christ, then it will be the most gorgeous thing that he just can't seem to get his mind off of. Because that's you. That's who you are. And it's breathtaking. Believe me when I tell you that he will admire it for the rest of his life. Every day it's something he's just gonna love; it will never get old!

Something else pretty attractive...the proverbs 31 women.

"A wife of noble character who can find?

She is worth far more than rubies."

What girl doesn't want to feel and be worth more than rubies?! To a girl, that is like, one of the best things ever that could happen. And the good news? You can be! God is constantly working through us, is he not? And with habitual prayer, and the desire that he places in your heart, you will be one. God never gives up on us. But we tend to give up on him. And is this not admirable? You may have already re-read that, at least a couple times already. Like me. Like every time I ever come across it. Just imagine how much more your future husband will value it.

"Her husband has full confidence in her

and lacks nothing of value."

I love this. I desperately want to be that woman and wife who walks with confidence in herself because of her intimate relationship with God. Girlfriend, I want you to walk virtuously, purely, more than gold, as a  princess of the most High King. It's what God expects of you, because girl, we see ourselves too lowly. This is how God sees you, ultimately. And we need to see it ourselves. Because only then, will we live and walk like it. And feel a more stupendous sense of freedom and joy. These are key to how your future husband will have "full confidence" in you. He will marvel it. Relish it. Boast about it! And it will make your marriage a step easier. One step closer to the perfect love story.

Friends, a perfect love story begins where serving ourselves ends. You have to be a Christian that really serves God as you surrender everything to Him. You need to have an intimate relationship with God, as should your spouse, because a relationship with God is the foundation on which your marriage will stand. Loving God above all else, will make life more efficient as your purpose is to please God. When your focus is on God, everything else falls into place. Perfectly.

And one more thing...

“Many women do noble things,

but you surpass them all."

    

You want to surpass them all? All those other beautiful women in the world? You want to stand out to your husband? Including the first moment he lays eyes on you? Then be a woman of integrity. Besides all that has already been mentioned above, you should stay true to your future husband at a young age. God has already matched you with your match; you are a future couple. So live like your already taken.
What you do now will effect your future. Your oh-so-wanting happy future. If you want it badly enough, you'll stay true, genuine, and pure at a young age. I know, this is hard. But I also have found a way to make it a ton easier.

Start developing a love for your future husband now.

It's like beginning your love story now. Every girl can't wait for it to happen. Well friend, you can start early. Like all things, these things take time. And the more you practice it, the easier, better, closer to perfection it comes. Even when you're married, you're still going to feel like you are perfecting it. But that's also part of the journey. The catch is, you will be saving yourself a lot of heartache and hurt emotions by starting now. And it should be fun. Your love story can be a blessing from God if you let Him lead you.

Here's a little analogy to help it feel all the more possible:

You know how we love God with all our hearts and yet we don't see Him?

 The same could be applied to our future husband.

Does that change your perspective? It surely changed mine! This is as much a promise to your future husband as it is to God. To help me in any sort of temptation Satan may fling my way, I bought a promise/purity ring. Because I always see it, see it glimmer in the sunlight, or how beautiful it looks on my finger, it never fails in reminding me that's how gorgeous and beautiful I want to look in my husband's eyes. And not only that, but that I have made a promise. A promise of commitment. A promise to make a perfect love story for myself!

Think like this...

I am the only one my future husband deserves...anyone else wouldn't be God's best for him!

And I don't deserve anyone short of him that's not God's best.

Girlfriend, don't sell yourself short of God's plans for you. Let God's dream for you be the dream for yourself. When you let the unthinkable happen with God in the drivers seat, you start to believe there is more to life than just any other marriage. You will realize you don't have to read romance books, watch romance movies, or travel in a time machine to the 14th century of chivalrous Knights to swoon over an amazing love story. You can have your own.

So let me ask....

Is your Prince Charming worth it all?

When the Rock in the Hard Place... Is All You Got

Check out those hills...they do NOT look fun to climb. At all. They look like they could be rugged, sharp, jagged; just over all unpleasant.

We would not like to climb these annoying rocks any more than we want to climb the rocks of life. We hate when our life goes down hill, goes "rocky," slanted, because we seem to have a hard time of controlling our life. But whoa, there's the first problem. It's not our life. It's ultimately Gods. There's a verse in the bible where it says that when we give our life to God we die to ourselves and he lives in us.

The next thing we know life, like rocks on a cliff, seems to be tumbling downward, and gravity has full reign.

Then what? The next problem: we blame God. We blame God for doing ___ to us. Why would he allow bad things like this to happen? Doesn't he love you? We like to play the blame game--where its never our fault. The funny thing is, you know you're not perfect. And yet, you never can convince yourself that maybe just once an action of yours caused it.

It's on auto for our brains to automatically blame God. But you know what? God doesn't do any of it to you. Satan does. Then you ask why does he allow it then? Because, in this world, just like the bible says, God uses everything to bring out the good in the bad. He uses it to make u stronger, so that there is only room for victory. But first, you have to allow him to. With God, God always wins, the problem is with us. We lose faith that he'll pull through, because it seems that he's failed you, every other time. Well, did you notice a pattern? Every time it seemed that He failed you, you quite, left him hanging, in the middle of it all. God doesn't finish something alone that he wanted to use you in, because you were his perfect choice. He wants you part of it because he wants to show you the good thing coming out, so when its all said and done, you can step back in awe, instead of disappointment.

God doesn't disappoint us. We just aren't patient enough to see it. Why? Because in your weakness, you let Satan control you. So, in all, it was never you who had control, it was Satan, and he leads you on to believe it, giving you this sort of "freedom" until everything comes crashing, and you realize you just sold yourself short of what you deserve. That's the thing, we don't deserve to be saved by God, we don't deserve, to call him Father or Lord, yet it's because we are His. We are the Almighty's. The Almighty loves us.

So as you fight that rock in the hard place, when you hit bottom, maybe in your hole of misery, where your trapped, you should just stop and be quiet for a moment, and analyze everything from the first spot Satan took the lead on you. I almost wrote, you taking the lead, but I caught myself. It's not technically us, its Satan, and even I'm learning to get out of that human way of thinking, and into God's.

Anyway, once you stop and take a real good look at that rock, you'll learn that it's God. You'll learn to stop fighting your loving creator that you failed. If anything, your the one who deserves to be left, yet he doesn't want to leave you. Why? Because he knows you too well. He knows that your born sinful, you didn't choose it, and there is still much hope!

God waits for us to choose him, to run back to him, to let Him be your solid rock on which you stand. Your faithful foundation in which you need to build your life. Over time, once you give it a chance to prove it's loyalty to you, even in the storm, you will start to see a new pattern. One where God is always there for you, and that you don't want to leave because you know the genuinity of it. Why does he allow you to freely choose him? Well, wouldn't you not like him even more if he didn't? Exactly. He loves you so much he gives you the choice, and because He knows you better than yourself, or had a plan for you before you existed, ...I think that pretty says it all itself of how much he wants you to grow in a relationship with him. He's willing to something like that, just to capture your heart. Will you let him?

When the rock in the hard place is all you got...take a real good look at it...hidden, you'll see your name...and next to it..his words of wisdom, such as hope and love. Knowing this should make you feel more special, and if anything, really glad that you don't need to fight the rock. Who wants to fight? So turn around, embrace this solid truth, and hang on tight. Don't let this be what hurts you, when he is always there for you no matter what.